Dust In The Wind
by Misha
Summary: AU. A different childhood for Meredith leads to a different road and a different love. MeredithAlex. Now Complete
1. Part One: Oops, I Did It Again

﻿Dust in the WindBy Misha

Disclaimer- I don't own "Grey's Anatomy", if I did Derek and Meredith would be together, it belongs to people with a lot more money than me. I'm not making any money off of this, so please don't sue me. Thanks.

Author's Note: This is a very AU story. It came to me in a dream. Seriously, it did. It starts at the beginning of Season One and takes things on a very different angle. It's weird and different, but I just couldn't get it out of my head, besides I like the idea of doing something new. I will say this: it's Alex/Meredith and Derek/Addison. I love Derek/Meredith, but I wanted to try something new and as I said, this came to me in a dream. So, I'm trying it. That's all you need to know for now, the rest will be revealed as the story unfolds. That's all, enjoy!

Pairing: Alex/Meredith, Derek/Addison, some Derek/Meredith, Richard/Ellis.

Summery: AU. A different childhood for Meredith leads to a different road and a different love. Meredith/Alex, Addek.

Spoilers: Nothing and everything. It's an AU, so I twist it to suit what I want, but I take details from the first two seasons.

* * *

  
Part One- Oops, I Did It Again

Meredith snuggled closer to the warm body next to her, cuddling her husband's familiar form. After a moment, reality hit and she opened her eyes.

She was supposed to be sleeping alone. Alex wasn't supposed to be there. Yet, when Meredith sat up, she saw the familiar form of her husband and she realized that she was at his apartment, not her house. Oh, **so** not good. Yes, Alex was her husband, but they had also been separated for the last two months, so waking up together wasn't such a good idea.

"Mere?" Alex asked sleepily, sitting up. "What's wrong?"

"This is wrong." Meredith told him flatly. "I shouldn't be here."

"Mere..." Alex said quietly.

"No." Meredith told him. "We're separated, Alex, that means separation, which means no sex."

Though, they hadn't been so good at that. This was the fourth time she'd ended up in bed with him in the two months they'd been separated.

"I love you." Alex told her quietly. "You love me."

"Yes." Meredith admitted, then she took a deep breath. "You cheated on me, Alex, you're the one that messed up. Not me. Now I need space to try and figure out how to forgive you."

With that, she got out of the bed, taking the sheet with her as she looked for her clothes on the floor. She silently berated herself for letting the night before happen. It was that damned mixer that they'd had to go to last night, she'd ended up having a few drinks  
and then Alex had suggested going out for food after and then she'd ended up back at his apartment. Not good.

"We're going to be working together." Alex reminded her quietly. "Have you forgotten?"

"No." Meredith said calmly. "I haven't."

It was problematic that she and her estranged husband would both be starting their internships at Seattle Grace Hospital, but there was nothing she could do about it.

"You haven't forgotten your promise, have you?" Meredith asked him. She didn't want any of their fellow interns to know that they were married, not until she had come to some sort of decision about their future. It was going to be hard enough going in to an internship as the Chief of Staff's daughter, well technically stepdaughter, without adding the drama that was her marriage to the mix. Besides, it wasn't anyone's business.

"No, I haven't." Alex told her dryly. "I don't think our marriage is something we should hide, but I'll keep my promise." 

"Thank you." Meredith said quietly, staring into the face of the man she fell in love with five years before.

She _loved_ Alex. Loved him in a way that she hadn't thought she could love anyone. Yet, she still had no idea if that was enough to save their marriage. She had been in a state of emotion turmoil since the night two and a half months before she had learnt of Alex's infidelity.

Her life was a wreck. She was starting the most important stage of her career. She had moved across the country, back to where her family was. Her mother had severe Altzhteimer's and was in a home. Now, her marriage was in severe trouble.

Yes, life was definitely intense these days.

Meredith gathered her clothes in her arms and looked at Alex. "It's just easier if we keep our personal lives separate from work." She told him. "At least, until we make a decision."

"Until _you_ make a decision, you mean." Alex corrected. "I know what I want, Meredith, I want our life together."

"You should have thought about that before you decided to go have sex with some skank." Meredith said bitterly, his betrayal still a raw wound.

"Mere..." Alex said quietly.

"I can't do this now." Meredith said, suddenly realizing that she was standing in her estranged husband's bedroom in a sheet, clutching her clothes as they dissected the state of their marriage. Not the best start to the day. She hurried to the bathroom, wondering what she was going to do with her life.

* * *

After Meredith left, Alex went to the gym, just to get out some aggression.

He had hoped that Meredith agreeing to come home with him last night had been a step in the right direction, but with his wife you never knew. It had to mean something that she was still sleeping with him, but... She was still distant and they were still living apart, nothing solved between them.

Alex hit the punching bag in frustration. He knew the state of the marriage was his fault. He'd screwed up, he knew that. He'd known that immediately, but it had been too late. He'd cheated on his wife and Meredith had found out.

Now the best thing that had ever happened ot him was in danger of slipping away and he didn't know how to fix it. He didn't know how to fix what he had broken, how to reach out to Meredith, but that wasn't a big surprise.

Communication had never been his strong skill or Meredith's. Maybe that was the **real **reason their marriage was in so much trouble. Oh, Alex knew that his mistake had been the straw that broke the camel's back, the reason Meredith had left him, but the marriage had been in trouble before that.

Maybe they had just been crazy, marrying at the beginning of med school when they'd only known each other a year and that year had been long distance, but it had happened like that. Like being hit by lightning.

The first three years of the marriage went smoothly, then... Well, then they'd hit the speed bumps. Things had just added up, overwhelming them. They'd been in their last year of medical school and there was all that pressure. Meredith's mother's health had been declining quickly and her father was laying pressure on them to move to Seattle for the internship. Then, Alex had failed his boards and had to redo them at the last minute, his internship in jeopardy. That was what had lead him to make a really stupid mistake.

Alex hit the punching bag again. He didn't know how to fix his mistakes. All he knew was that he was in Seattle, a city he didn't particularly like, living in a crappy apartment because he didn't want to settle anywhere permanent until he and Meredith worked things out.

Also, in a few weeks he started his new job working with her every day. With her father as his boss. His life really sucked.

Alex was eager to start his internship, but not so thrilled at the idea of having to pretend he wasn't married. He wanted to work things out with Meredith, not pretend that they had never happened. Yet, now he had to, at least when he was at work, which was going to be most of the time.

He hit the bag again. Yes, his life** really **sucked.

* * *


	2. Part Two: Foolish Games

Dust In the Wind  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One.  
_  
Part Two-Foolish Games 

Meredith walked into the bar across the street from the hospital. It was called _The Emerald City Bar_ and she figured she'd be spending lots of time there in the future. She started work the next day and that meant facing Alex. She'd been avoiding him in the three weeks since the mixer, though he called daily. She wanted to forgive him, but she wasn't sure how.

Just then, a familiar face caught her eye.

"Derek, is that you?" She asked in surprise, making her way over to the handsome dark-haired man.

He smiled and stood up to greet her with a loose hug. "Little Merry Webber, you've certainly grown up."

Meredith laughed, not bothering to correct him about the last name. "Well, it's been what, five, six years?"

"About that." Derek agreed. "You were still in college last time I saw you."

Meredith laughed. "A while then. What brings you to Seattle?" She knew Derek because he'd worked under her father in New York, but hadn't talked to him since Richard had chosen to come back to Seattle and take the Chief of Staff position.

"Your father didn't tell you?" Derek asked in surprise. "I'm the new neurosurgery attending."

"Really?" Meredith asked in surprise. "Did Addison come with you?"

Addison was Derek's wife and a fellow surgeon. Meredith really admired the other woman, though she didn't know her that well. Not that she knew Derek all that well, just from the times she'd popped into the hospital to see her father. After all, he was thirteen years her senior and the last time she'd seen him she'd been twenty-one and a college student, while he'd just completed his fellowship. It's not like they were in any position to really get to know each other. No, mainly they were acquaintances.

Derek grimaced. "Addison and I are separated."

Meredith couldn't hide her surprise. "Really? You two seemed so happy last time I saw you."

Derek made a bitter face. "We were, but things change. I walked in on her with my best friend, Mark."

"Mark?" Meredith asked in disbelief. She knew Mark Sloane, another surgeon, all too well. He was sexy and charming and all too smooth... Meredith might never have associated with Derek all that well, but Mark she knew better... She'd been one of the many notches on his bedpost once upon a time. After all, she'd always had a thing for the sexy, arrogant ones...

"Mark." Derek confirmed flatly.

Meredith took a deep breath. "Oh." Her heart went out to him. She knew how badly Alex's infidelity had hurt her, she'd been shattered, but at least she hadn't actually _seen_ it, nor had the other woman been someone she liked and trusted. Derek had been betrayed twice over. "I'm so sorry."

Derek just shrugged and reached for his drink. "What can you do? Needless to say, I could use a change and when your dad offered me the job..."

"You took it." Meredith supplied, taking a seat next to him and motioning to the bartender.

"What about you?" Derek asked, after she had ordered her drink. "You got married a few years ago, didn't you?"

"I did." Meredith agreed and then sighed. "We're separated."

Derek looked surprised. "I'm sorry, Richard didn't say anything..."

"It's okay. It's fairly new." Meredith told him. "But do you think you could keep quiet about the whole ëmarried' thing? He's a fellow intern, or will be as of tomorrow, and well... I'm going to get enough stares as it is, I don't need people gossiping about the state of my marriage."

"You're not going to tell anyone?" Derek asked in surprise.

"Are you?" Meredith countered.

"No." Derek admitted. "So he's an intern, as well."

Meredith nodded. "Yes."

"That will be tough." Derek warned her. "I don't even want to see Addison, let alone have to work with her."

"I'll deal with it." Meredith said, pouring back her drink and motioning for another. "After all, I have to, right?"

* * *

The next morning, Meredith woke to the feel of a warm body next to hers, yet it didn't feel right. It didn't feel like Alex. Then, she remembered that Alex shouldn't be there anyway. 

She opened her eyes and rolled over to see Derek laying next to her. Derek. A man she'd known since she was seventeen. Who knew her father. Who was going to be her new boss.

God, her life sucked.

Plus, it was her first day of work. She looked at her watch and saw that she had an hour and a half to run home, get dressed and then get to work. Yay.

As she was getting up, Derek opened his eyes and sat up. "Good morning."

"Good morning." Meredith said awkwardly.

"Last night..." Derek began.

"Was a mistake." Meredith said quickly.

Derek smiled at her. "I wouldn't say that."

"I would." Meredith said bluntly. "We're both married. To other people."

"We're both separated." Derek corrected.

"I'm trying to work things out with my husband." Meredith told him. "Or figure out if they _can_ be worked out. I can't get involved with someone else."

"That's your decision." Derek told her.

Meredith nodded. "I'm glad you understand."

Derek shrugged. "It's hard to walk away from a marriage."

"Yet you have." Meredith said calmly.

"There wasn't much of a marriage to walk away from." Derek admitted. "What about you?"

"I'm not sure." Meredith admitted, thinking about how difficult the last year of her four year marriage had been. "But I want to find out. You might have been able to walk away from your marriage and your history, I'm not sure I can. Not until I know whether or not there's anything left to fight for."

Derek smiled. "I wish you luck, then. Though, I'm not sure what I want the result to be."

Meredith just smiled and took her clothes to go get dressed. She wondered when she was going to stop making stupid mistakes.

* * *


	3. Part Three: Brand New Day

Dust In the Wind

By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One._

Part Three- Brand New Day

Meredith slipped into the back of the opperating room, her dad was already addressing the crowd of interns. Meaning that she was late. On the first day. Not good.

Richard acknowledged her with a raised eyebrow and then continued speaking. "Each of you comes today hopeful, wanting in on the game." He told them. "Two months ago you were in med school being taught by doctors. Today, you are the doctors. The seven years you spend here as a surgical resident will be the best and worst of your life."

Meredith listened to her father, drawn into his words. She, more than anyone else in the room, knew that the next years would be hard. She knew at least some of what to expect. How could she not, being raised by two surgeon's? She knew exactly the sacrifices it required. But she'd never wanted any other life. Since she was a little girl, hanging around the hospital, waiting for her parents to get off work, all she'd ever wanted was to be a surgeon.

"You will be pushed to the breaking point. Look around you. Say hello to your competition." Richard continued. "Eight of you will switch to an easier specialty. Five of you will crack under the pressure. Two of you will be asked to leave. This is your starting line. This is your arena. How well you play, that's up to you."

Meredith looked around the room, at the ninteen other faces. The people she'd be spending the next seven years with. Her eyes met Alex's, over everyone else, and despite everything, Meredith was suddenly very glad he was there.

She might be mad as hell at him, but he was still a familar face and she needed that right now. Needed her husband. Of course, no one in the room, except the two of them and her father could know he was her husand.

Meredith silently hated herself for making that rule, even though she knew it was a good one. She had to work with these people every day, she didn't want them pulled into her drama. At least not right away.

There'd be plenty of time for that later, she was sure.

---

Alex slipped into the observation deck with the other interns. He noticed Meredith sitting there, with two other chicks. One was a really hot blonde, probably the model, but she didn't hold a candle to his wife, at least not in Alex's opinion.

Alex actually felt a bit sorry for O'Malley, poor sucker. He remembered waht Meredith had told him, that it was supposed to be the most promising intern who got the first surgery, but that Burke usually picked someone to make an example of. From what Alex could see, O'Malley was the perfect candidate.

He winked at his wife, she just sent him a look and turned away, though Alex saw a small smile playing on her face.

The interns all started making bets on how O'Malley would fare. Alex smiled as Meredith placed $50 on him pulling it off, that was his Mere, she always had a soft spot for the underdog.

Of course, Meredith lost the bet. O'Malley flubbed the operation, an appendectemy for heavens sakes. He ripped the cecum and then froze.

"He's 007." Alex announced with a smirk.

"Definitly." Matt, one of his fellow interns, muttered.

Alex could see his wife sending him a cold look and shrugged unrepentantly. He was only calling it as he was seeing it, it wasn't his fault that Mereidht was a total bleeding heart.

"What's 007 mean?" ALex could hear the blonde ask Meredith as the interns all trundled out of the observation deck.

"Liscence to kill." Meredith said, sounding tired and looking upset.

Alex smiled, yes, that was his Mere. Soft hearted to the end. It was one of the reasons he loved her so.

---


	4. Part Four: Rain Down on Me

Dust in the Wind  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One.  
_  
Part Four: Rain Down on Me

Meredith was tired. Her other interns were giving her weird looks and whispering behind her back. Oh, the joys of being the chief's daughter.

"Hey Princess."

Speak of the devil. Meredith sighed and turned to see her father. "Daddy, didn't we have an agreement?" She asked him. "While here, I'm just another intern."

Richard Webber shot her a look. "You're always going to be my princess, intern or not."

"Ok." Meredith said with a sigh, then made a face. "If I'm your princess, how come I got stuck with the Nazi?"

Richard grinned. "You didn't want any favors played to you because you were my daughter, so I assigned you to a resident who wouldn't pay you any. She'll treat you like any other intern."

"Maybe a little bit of favoritism wouldn't have been bad." Meredith muttered, causing her father to grin.

"So how's your first day going?" Richard asked her.

"So far, so good." Meredith told him and then rolled her eyes. "My patient's a pain in the ass, though, thinks she can page 911 just because she's bored."

Richard winced sympathetically and then patted her shoulder. "I know you can handle it. You're gonna knock 'em dead, Princess."

"Thanks Daddy." Meredith said, giving him a big smile.

Richard smiled at her and then walked away.

"Daddy's girl." She heard someone mutter.

"Shut up. She can't help who her parents are." Meredith turned at the sound of her husband's voice. "Besides, you know you'd kill to have Richard Webber and Ellis Grey as parents. We all would."

The other intern looked a bit shamed and hurried away.

"Thank you." Meredith said quietly, looking up at Alex.

He grinned. "Not a problem. You don't deserve that."

"I should be used to it." Meredith said with a sigh. "Four years of Med school, that's all I got. Ooh, that's Ellis Grey's daughter. Or Richard Webber's daughter. Why should I expect my Internship to be any difference?"

"Mer." Alex began.

She just sighed. "I slept with Derek Shepherd."

Alex stared at her, as if unable to form words. "Shepherd? The Neuro attending?"

"Yes." Meredith said, then sighed. "He interned under my parents in New York. We met up in a bar. You know what tequila does to me... It was a mistake."

Alex was just staring at her.

"We're separated." She said quietly, defending herself. "We're not together."

"That's your choice, Mer, not mine." Alex reminded her.

"You cheated. I didn't." Meredith said, conscious that they were having this argument, albeit very quietly, in the halls of the hospital where anyone could hear.

"We're not doing this here." Meredith said, gathering her stuff together.

"Fine, run away, it's what you always do." Alex told her.

"We're off in 36 hours." Meredith told him, with a sigh. "We'll talk then, ok?"

She knew that they did need to talk about it, she just wasn't doing it at the hospital. No, she had other things she needed to focus on instead of her crumbling marriage and the fact that she had slept with her boss. She was supposed to be a surgeon, she needed to focus on her job, not on her messed up life.

* * *

Alex wanted to punch something or someone. Preferably a certain neurosurgeon. Meredith had slept with someone else. It was like a punch to his gut. 

He knew he had no right to be that upset, because she was right. They were separated. He had messed up first. Meredith was within her rights to sleep with someone else, but that didn't mean Alex had to like it. Still, she was right, this wasn't the time or place to talk about it.

"What are you staring at?" Alex snapped at the nurse who was looking at him. "Don't you have charts to file or something?"

She gave him a wounded look and then hurried off. Alex noted that she was the pretty redhead nurse who had been flirting with him at the mixer. He had blown her off then, because there was only one woman he wanted. He had screwed up once, he wasn't screwing up again.

Somehow, he was going to win his wife back, no matter what in the Hell he had to do to do so. Even if he had to beat off a sexy neurosurgeon to do so.

Besides, Alex was an athlete, he was used to healthy competition. More than that, he was used to winning and this was the most important competition of his life and there was no way in Hell he was going to lose. Meredith was the best thing that had ever happened to him and maybe he'd had to screw up royally to figure that out, but he knew it now and he was going to fight like Hell to fix his mistake.

Meredith was his wife and she was going to stay that way, Derek Shepherd be damned.

* * *


	5. Part Five: Try

Dust in the Wind  
By Misha

_Authorís Notes and Disclaimer in Part One.  
_  
Part Five: Try

_36 Hours Later_

"So are we going to talk now?" Alex demanded, cornering Meredith as they were leaving the hospital.

Meredith sighed. "I haven't slept in 48 hours and I just did brain surgery."

"With Shepherd." Alex said flatly.

"I earned that surgery." Meredith told him. "She was my patient. I figured out what was wrong with her. I'm not apologising for that." 

She had already had to do that with Christina Yang, one of her fellow interns. She had ended up confessing her one night stand to Christina, because she felt like she needed to talk to someone. But it had backfired, when Derek had insisted that she scrub in on surgery instead of Christina, for reasons that had nothing to do with them sleeping together or with her parentage, though the other woman had thrown both those things on her face. Still, they had made peace and now Meredith had to deal with her husband.

"Let's go back to your place." Meredith said quietly. "I don't want to do that here and somehow I doubt that you're going to let it go, are you?"

"No." Alex said quietly. "Did you drive here?"

"Yes." Meredith confirmed. "I'll follow you back to your place." She _really_ didn't want to do this now, but she understood why Alex did. What she had done in no way compared to what he had did, but she could see why he would be upset.

Because in some ways it could be seen as a death knell, of her deciding to walk away completely, when that in fact was not true. Sleeping with another man had felt wrong and sordid and had made Meredith realize that she missed Alex.

She still didn't know if they could work things out, if she could forgive him, but she was going to give it her best. Her marriage wasn't something she could just walk away from without a fight--if anything, sleeping with Derek Shepherd had taught her that.

He was handsome and the sex had been nice, but the only man she wanted to wake up next to was Alex. That was quite the revelation and now she just had to figure out what to do about it.

* * *

  
"Does you sleeping with Shepherd mean you're filing for divorce?" Alex asked as soon as he and Meredith got to his apartment.

"No." Meredith said softly. "No. Alex... It made me see that I want to fight for us. Really fight. I don't know if I can forgive you, but I'm gonna. I'm really, really going to try."

Alex stared at her. That wasn't what he had expected to hear, but he wasn't complaining. He had been praying to hear some thing like that since the day Meredith had left.

"Sleeping with Shepherd made you see that?" Alex said, a bit incredulous.

"It felt dirty." Meredith said simply. "It also felt wrong, waking up beside a man who wasn't you. You're my husband, for better or worst, and I realize that means something to me. I want to give it my best shot, Alex. I still don't know if we can fix it, and I'm not ready to go public, but I am going to do my best. Start slow. Are you okay with that?"

Alex was quiet for a moment. It wasn't exactly what he wanted to hear, but right now it was enough. "Yes." He said quickly. "Mer, I love you, and I want you back and I'll do whatever it takes to do that. I want to fix what we have and save it."

"Me too." She admitted quietly. "I'm not ready to walk away, I know that now." She stepped towards him. "I've loved you for five years, Alex, and I can't just walk away from that. From all the memories."

Alex was elated. He knew it wasn't everything, obviously they had a lot of work ahead of them, but... At least now Meredith was willing to fight and that was enough for now. It had to be.

* * *


	6. Part Six: Complicated

  
Dust in the Wind  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One.  
_  
Part Six: Complicated

"I'm fighting for my marriage." Meredith told Derek quietly, a couple days after her talk with Alex. "Alex and I are going to try and make it work."

"Alex?" Derek repeated, raising an eyebrow. "Dr. Karev is your husband?" 

"Yes." Meredith said quietly. "What's wrong with that?"

"He's a bit, arrogant, isn't he?" Derek inquired.

Meredith bristled. "What business is that yours. I just thought I'd tell you, we need to keep things completely professional, forget..."

"Forget that we slept together." Derek said dryly. "What if I can't do that, what if I don't _want _to do that?"

"Tough." Meredith told him. "Alex's my husband and unlike you, I need to fight for my marriage, see if it can be salvaged, if I can forgive him. I can't just walk away."

Derek winced, because that's what he had done. He had turned and walked away after he had seen Mark and Addison, he'd had no desire for explanations or anything. He'd just wanted to be away and he didn't think he'd ever change his mind. Right now he never even wanted to ever see Addison again, though he knew that was an impossible wish. Still, he couldn't imagine ever wanting to make his marriage work.

But, he knew he had to respect Meredith's wishes, even if he didn't want too. However, if the supremely arrogant Dr. Karev screwed up again, well, then, Derek would be there waiting in the wings ready to give Meredith the comfort she'd need. After all, no one could blame hm for that, could they?

* * *

  
"Do you think he has a girlfriend?" Izzie inquired over lunch. 

Meredith looked at her. "Hmm?"

"Alex." Izzie said, her expression inquisitive. "Do you know if he's seeing someone?"

Meredith tried not to choke on her lunch. Christina, the only person other than Derek whom Meredith had confessed the truth to, shot Meredith a knowing look.

"How would I know?" Meredith asked with a shrug.

"He talks to you the most." Izzie said. "He barely says two words to me."

"He's a jerk." George spoke up, rolling his eyes. "I think you should consider yourself lucky that he doesn't talk to you."

"He's hot." Izzie said with a grin. "I wouldn't mind getting to know him better, if you know what I mean."

Meredith knew all too well what she meant and she didn't like it one bit. Alex was _her_ man and the idea of the sexy Izzie hitting on him... Well, it didn't fill her with joy.

Still, there was nothing she could say. It had been her choice to keep her marriage secret and she stood by her reasons. No matter how satisfying it would be to wipe that look off Izzie's face...

Christina shot her a knowing look and Meredith glared at her and then looked away. This was definitely a complication she hadn't expected...

* * *

  
"Dr. Karev." The greeting was given coldly.

"Dr. Shepherd." Alex acknowledged just as coldly.

The two men gave each other appraising looks.

"You don't deserve her." Shepherd told him.

"Isn't that up to her to decide?" Alex asked quietly. Though, the truth was, Shepherd was right. He didn't deserve Meredith But he loved her more than anything.

"You're going to screw up again and I'm going to be there waiting." Derek warned him.

Alex looked at the other man, understanding exactly what he was saying. He knew that they understood each other all to well, they both wanted Meredith and neither of them was willing to give up.

Still, Alex had the advantage. She was his wife and she had chosen him over Shepherd and this time, no matter what Shepherd thought, he had no intention of screwing up.

"I'll keep that under consideration." Alex told Shepherd coolly and then walked away. Right now, he had the advantage and he intended to keep it.

* * *


	7. Part Seven: Baby, Baby

  
Dust in the Wind  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One.  
_  
Part Seven: Baby, Baby

_Three Weeks Later_

Meredith stood in the bathroom of her house. When she had come back to Seattle, she'd moved into the house she'd lived in as a child, before her mother's second marriage.

Ellis had never sold the house, instead she had simply rented it out for years, and it had seemed like a good idea for Meredith to move in. Of course, it was a big house for just her and her father suggested, that if she and Alex weren't going to work things out, then she should get roommates. 

She had considered it, but she wasn't sure that there was anyone she liked well enough to live with, though Izzie and George were begging her to let them move it. But Meredith wasn't crazy about the idea. Izzie was a little **too **enthusiastic, plus there was her attraction to Alex which obviously made Meredith uncomfortable. 

Then there was the situation with Alex... Which made having a roommate a little difficult. Her life was just too complicated for roommates. The last three weeks had not been easy on her. The life of an intern was difficult, there was a lot of pressure and crazy hours. 

There was also the fact that Derek, for all that he had said he'd understood her decision, had been subtly pursuing her, making it clear that he was there for when she changed her mind. Plus she and Alex were trying to work things out. There was also the stress of having her father as her boss. Yes, her life was definitely complicated.

She got along with her fellow interns though, Christina being her favourite. They had clicked right away and Meredith had confided all her troubles in her, finding it nice to have someone to talk to.

She liked Izzie and George as well, but not enough to live with them. Especially since George had a bit of a crush on her, which she didn't quite know how to handle.

And now her life was about to get even more complicated.

Meredith stared at the test in her hand. Positive. She was pregnant. Three weeks into her internship, with a marriage that she was fighting to salvage and she was having a baby. At least, she knew _whose _baby it was. She'd missed two periods, meaning that it was definitely Alex's baby. Thank God.

Meredith knew that a baby right now wasn't perfect for her and Alex given that they were fighting to save their marriage, but if she had to be pregnant...

She knew there was no way she could have anyone else's baby... No, at least that much was good, it was just everything else that was a mess.

* * *

"Daddy, can I talk to you?"

Richard put down his work and beamed at his only child. Well, all right, Meredith wasn't really his child, not biologically, but she was his in every way that counted.

"Of course." He wasn't surprised that Meredith had been able to get straight into his office, after all as his daughter she had rights that the other surgeons didn't. "What can I do for you?" 

"I'm pregnant." Meredith announced quietly. "I just found out."

"Are you telling me as your father or as Chief of Surgery?" Richard asked, not sure what else to say. His baby was having a baby. It was wonderful news, but on the other hand... He knew her marriage was on the rocks and that the timing was horrible. Still, he was going to be a grandfather. 

"Both." Meredith told him. "Is this going to ruin my career?"

"No." Richard told her. "Yes, mommy tracking does happen and sometimes pregnant interns are forced out fo the program, but that won't happen here. You'll continue working as long as you can, cutting down when you have to and you'll make up the time you miss, even if you have to extend your residency by a few months. You can do it, others have, your mother did." 

Meredith nodded, seeming relieved. "How do you feel about it?" Richard asked quietly. "I know you and Alex..." 

He had been furious when he'd heard about his son-in-law's infidelity, but sympathetic, because he understood what it was like to make mistakes and it was clear that Alex was clearly repentant over what he had done.

"We're trying to work things out." Meredith told him. "The timing's not great, but... I'm having a baby." She smiled as she said it, her hand resting on her belly.

"Yes, you are." Richard said softly, standing up to take his daughter in his arms and give her a warm hug. "My baby's having a baby."

Meredith smiled up at him. "How does it feel, Grandpa?"

Richard smiled back. "It feels wonderful."

As he held Meredith close, Richard silently wished that Ellis was able to share in the joy of that moment, but unfortunately that was impossible. His beloved wife was lost to them, in spirit and mind, if not body, and it was the only cloud over Richard's joy.

* * *


	8. Part Eight: Crush

Dust in the Wind  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One.  
_  
Part Eight: Crush

"He barely even looks at me." Izzie complained over lunch.

George sighed, wishing she'd shut up. He was sick of hearing her complain about how she was getting nowhere with Alex Karev. He wasn't even sure what the appeal was, he thought Alex was an asshole and he was certainly arrogant enough.

"Why do you care?" George asked, searching the cafeteria for Meredith. He was hoping she'd come and join them for lunch, but he didn't see her anywhere. "

Because he's hot." Izzie told him. "The only other person at the hospital whose on par with him is Dr. Shepherd and he's an attending."

George wondered why Izzie thought he cared at all about her attraction to Alex Karev. "You'd think a man that hot would have an itch to scratch." Izzie commented, making a face, then she frowned. "Unless he has a girlfriend, but when? I mean, none of us have any time for a personal life."

"He wears a ring. Maybe he's married." George commented, without thinking.

"What?!" Izzie demanded, glaring at George. "What do you mean he wears a ring?"

"When he's not on duty." George told her. "I've seen him put it on before he leaves."

"Married." Izzie stated in shock, staring at him. "He can't be."

"Maybe he's not, maybe it's not a wedding band." George said with a shrug. "But it's the right hand or rather the left."

Izzie made a face. "Now that would be a waste."

George rolled his eyes. He hoped this was the end of her obsessing about Alex Karev, but somehow he doubted it.

* * *

"Hi Alex."

Alex inwardly groaned. Izzie Stevens had been subtly, and then not so subtly, hitting on him since pretty much the start of their internship, just not getting the hint that he wasn't interested.

Of course, Alex had a feeling that she wasn't used to being turned down and that that was a big part of it. He had to admit that she was hot and in another place and time he'd definitely be interested, but that had time had long past him by. There was only woman he wanted, now and for the rest of his life and that was Meredith.

"Izzie." Alex acknowledged, then made a face. "Sorry, I have to get these charts to Dr. Webber."

With that, he walked away, leaving a very annoyed blonde staring after him. He wasn't lying. He was working with Richard today, which was a little uncomfortable. Working with his father-in-law, his boss, was definitely a little awkward, given the state of his marriage.

Still, for some reason Richard had requested him today and seemed to be watching him like a hawk, yet in a different way than he had been previously. It was almost as if he knew something that Alex didn't.

Alex shook his head, he wasn't going to think about it. It was probably just that Meredith had told her father that they were working things out and Richard was just watching him closely to make sure he didn't screw up again.

"Here you go." He said, walking up to his father-in-law and handing him the charts in question. Richard took them with a nod.

"Thank you, Alex." He said quietly. "You can scrub in this afternoon."

"Thanks, Sir." Alex said, though he was still curious about why Richard had requested him and why he was watching him so carefully, but he figured he'd find out eventually and right now he was just going to focus on the upcoming surgery.

After all, he was at work and all the drama in his life could hold for a few more hours, because it wasn't like there was anything major about to happen. He hoped.

* * *


	9. Part Nine: Secrets and Lies

Dust in the Wind  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and A.N in Part One._

Part Nine: Secrets and Lies

"Did you tell your father we were trying to reconcile?" Alex asked Meredith later that night. The two of them were at her house, sharing take-out and watching a movie.

She frowned. "Yes, of course, why?'

"He put me on his detail today and he seemed to be watching me like a hawk." Alex told her. "I just wondered if you had anything to do with that."

Meredith repressed a sigh, she knew it had to be with the baby. Her father, always protective, was going to be doubly so now that his first grandchild the way and that meant he was going to keep a strict eye on Alex.

"You know Daddy." Meredith said softly. "He can't help it. I'm his little girl."

"I know." Alex said. "I figured that's what it was."

Meredith knew it was more than that, that it was about the baby, but she wasn't ready to share her news with Alex, just yet. She wanted to give them a little more time, before... Well, before the rules changed yet again.

She knew Alex would be happy about the baby, or at least she hoped he would, but she also knew that he would expect a full reconciliation once he knew and she needed a little more time. She wanted this to work because it was meant ot be, not just for the baby...

* * *

"Meredith, you know Alex best out of all of us, has he ever mentioned a wife?" Izzie asked, cornering her fellow intern at work, a few days after George's ring bombshell.

The question had been plaguing her and she finally decided that if anyone knew, it would be Meredith. Alex seemed to soften when he was around her and sometimes Izzie caught them having conversations--part of her wondered if she should be concerned, but she decided against it.

Meredith might be pretty and she might be surgical royalty, but Izzie was well aware of her own charms and she was confident that she could win a man away from Meredith Grey-Webber if need be.

Meredith froze and looked like a dear caught in the headlines. "Um, what?" She stuttered.

"Has Alex mentioned a wife?" Izzie asked again. "George said he thought he saw him wearing a wedding band."

"Well... I don't... You'd have to ask him." Meredith answered nervously and then before Izzie could say anything,she scurried away. Izzie watched her with narrowed eyes. Meredith knew something and she was determined to find out what...

* * *

"Izzie asked me if you were married." Alex turned around to see Meredith standing behind him.

"Did you tell her yes and that I love my wife more than life itself?" He asked her.

"No." Meredith told him. "I told her to ask you... We agreed to keep it a secret."

"Well, I'm going to tell her the truth." Alex stated calmly. Meredith stared at him in horror.

"Alex!" She exclaimed. "You agreed... Just until..."

Alex let out an angry sigh, so Meredith still didn't want to admit she was married to him. He had to admit that it bothered him, he wanted to shout it to the rafters and here she was, forcing him to keep it a secret.

"Don't worry, Meredith, I'll keep your precocious secret." He bit out angry. "I'll just tell her that, yes, I'm married, but I won't tell her who I'm married to. I just want her off my back, whatever you may believe of me, I don't actually enjoy having her throw herself at me. There's only one woman I want, despite the fact that she's too ashamed to admit that she wants me."

Alex saw Meredith's eyes fill with tears, but he didn't care, this had been going on for a month and there was no change, every time he thought they were making progress, she pulled back and he was sick of it.

"I have rounds." He said shortly and walked away without looking back, wondering if he had been a fool to hope that his marriage could work...

* * *


	10. Part Ten: We Belong

Dust in the Wind  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One.  
_  
Part Ten: We Belong

Meredith watched Alex walk away from her, wondering what in the Hell she had just done.

Had she finally pushed him too far? She _loved_ him and she knew that he loved her, could see in his face, hear it in his voice, even when he was frustrated with her and deep down she knew that she could forgive him, believed that they could work it out and yet she kept pushing him away...

Hey, you look like you have a lot on your mind? Derek commented, coming up behind her. Things not going well with the hubby?

She shot him a dark look. Well, with you lurking around every corner, how could it? Derek, we had _one_ night. Alex is **my **husband and its going to stay that way.

Derek just shot her a look. If that's true, why is it still a dirty little secret?

Meredith glared at him and then just turned and walked away without a word. As irritating as it was to admit, he had a valid point. Why had she kept it a secret?

Deep down, Meredith knew she was afraid of Alex hurting her again--at least this way if it happened it wouldn't bring public humiliation with it, but it also might prevent true happiness.

She loved Alex and... She needed to give her marriage her best shot and that meant going public...

* * *

  
There's an intern thing tomorrow, a party at Izzie's. Meredith said coming up behind Alex.

I know. Alex said dryly. I was invited.

Well, we'll go. Together. Meredith said quietly. As a couple. We'll bring our marriage out of the closet.

Alex shot her a disbelieving look. Seriously?

He couldn't believe that Meredith had changed her tune so quickly.

Yeah. Meredith said softly. I was also thinking... You should move into the house. With me.

Are you sure? Alex asked softly, his earlier anger faded. This was what he wanted, but he didn't want Meredith to feel pushed into it.

Yes. Meredith said softly. This is completely what I want. I love you Alex.

I love you too. Alex confessed. Thank you, Mer.

She just smiled, then made a face. I have to go, rounds. See you tonight?

Of course. Alex promised, wishing he could kiss her.

Soon... Soon, it would be all out in the open and he couldn't wait.

* * *

  
Meredith was smiling as she drove home. Things were working out for once. Alex was moving in, they were officially together and soon it would be public knowledge.

Meredith frowned slightly, realizing that she needed to inform her father of that fact beforehand, not that she thought he would object, but he did like to be pre warned. Eh, she'd do it the next day.

Meredith doubted either Derek or Izzie would be happy to have the news out, but too bad.

She and Alex... They were right. Derek was attractive and maybe under different circumstances, but... She loved her husband.

Meredith's thought were so caught up in her domestic bliss that she didn't see the car that cut into her lane until the last possible second...

* * *


	11. Part Eleven: Beautiful Disaster

Dust in the Wind  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One.  
_  
Part Eleven: Beautiful Disaster

Alex stared at the gurney feeling like his heart was about to fall out of his chest. There was Meredith, _his _Meredith, laying there, so pale and broken... So bloody.

"Someone page Dr. Webber!" He heard Izzie order from behind him. "He's her next of kin, there'll be paper work."

"No, he's not." Alex said, finding his voice, though still unable to tear his eyes away. "I am. I'm her husband."

There was silence as all the interns and Bailey all froze, obviously in shock.

"You and Meredith?!" Izzie screeched in disbelief.

Alex just nodded. "You should call her father, though, he'll want to know."

"Karev, obviously, you can't scrub in, go... Go clean up and wait." Bailey ordered him.

Alex wordlessly nodded and exited, knowing he'd left chaos behind him. About twenty minutes later, he was joined by a pale, grim Richard Webber.

"She's pregnant." Richard said flatly. "I think she said about 16 weeks."

Alex felt the world go out from under him. Meredith was pregnant. They were having a baby, but... She was fighting for her life.

"I've chartered in the best Neonatal surgeon I know." Richard informed Alex. "Burke has agreed that Meredith's surgery can wait for the few hours until Addison can get here."

Alex nodded, not really hearing the words. Meredith was pregnant an hadn't told him and now she might not get the chance and there was nothing he could do about it. His world was collapsing around him and all he could do was sit there.

* * *

  
Addison Montgomery-Sheperd got off helicopter to find Richard Webber waiting for her.

"Richard." She greeted, offering her mentor a hug.

She had gotten on a plane and then the helicopter as soon as she had gotten the call. Normally, she didn't drop everything to go across the country for one case, but it was her mentor's daughter, plus... Addison had personal reasons for wanting to come to Seattle.

"How is she?" She asked.

"Critical." Richard told her. "She needs extensive surgery, but there's also the baby to consider. My daughter wants this baby, so I'm trusting its welfare to you, but as I've told Burke--my daughter is my first priority."

"Of course." Addison assured him. "At this point in the pregnancy, it wouldn't be any other way, but I hope it won't come to that."

"Me too." Richard said sincerely.

"Does Derek know I'm coming?" Addison asked as she followed Richard into the hospital.

"No." Richard told her. "I had other things on my mind."

"Fair enough." Addison agreed, besides she figured that the element of surprise might be beneficial when it came to dealing with her ex-husband.

"I'll do my best for her and the baby." Addison told Richard quietly, seeing the pain on his face.

She'd do that for any patient, but this was different. She owed Richard a lot, plus she remembered Meredith Webber as a sweet girl and this one felt personal. She couldn't help it.

* * *

  
Izzie couldn't believe it, all the time she'd been talking about her interest in Alex and Meredith had been married to him!

"You guys must have had quite the laugh at my expense." She said bitterly.

Christina and George gave her looks, as if to say how inappropriate they found her outburst, but she ignored them.

"We didn't really talk about you." Alex told her tersely. "I can't say that you were that important to either of us, especially as we were trying to you know, fix our marriage."

Fix their marriage.

Izzie's interest perked at those words. So that was the reason for secrecy? There'd been trouble in paradise. Interesting...

She wondered if it had to do with the dreamy Dr. Shepherd who seemed so worried about Meredith's health. Izzie pursed her lips. That fit, Meredith seemed skanky enough to cheat on her husband.

If that was true, then maybe there was still hope for her and Alex. Obviously, right now he was worried about Meredith's welfare, and the baby was an obstacle, but Izzie would just have to convince him that she was a much better choice than Meredith...

* * *


	12. Part Twelve: Amazing Grace

Dust in the Wind  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One.  
_  
Part Twelve: Amazing Grace

"How is she?" Alex asked, leaping to his feet as soon as he saw Dr. Burke and another doctor, who he assumed was the neonatal surgeon, enter the waiting room.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Dr. Shepherd, who'd insisted on handing around, pale at the sight of the female surgeon, but he didn't pay him any mind--his attention was solely on Burke.

"She's stable." Burke assured him. "There was some damage, but not as much as I thought initially. She should be fine."

Alex let a sigh of relief. Thank God, Meredith was okay. "And the baby?" He asked nervously, wondering if he'd been lucky enough to be granted two miracles.

"The baby is hanging in there." The female surgeon, he couldn't remember her name, told him. "I'll be monitoring them both pretty carefully, but I think they'll both be fine."

It was all Alex could do not to fall to his knees and start thanking God. She was ok, Meredith was okay and so was their baby.

"When can I see her?" He asked Dr. Burke.

"Give it an hour or two." He advised.

Alex nodded. He could wait an hour, he could do anything now that he knew Meredith was going to be ok.

* * *

  
Derek barely heard the good news about Meredith, his attention focused on the surgeon with Dr. Burke.

"What in the Hell are you doing here?" He demanded once Burke had stopped talking. Everyone turned to look at him, but he ignored them.

"Richard called me here." Addison said coolly. "He wanted the best for his daughter and he knew that that was me."

Derek couldn't deny that, couldn't blame Richard for the decision he'd made. HIs daughter and grandchild's lives were on the line, of course he'd done whatever he could to save them. Still, that didn't mean Derek had to like it.

"We need to talk." Addison told him after a moment.

"No, we don't." Derek said and then he got up. "I'm glad Meredith's okay." He told Karev.

The other man nodded. "Thanks." He said gruffly. "Shepherd, she and I, we're working things out."

Derek nodded. He understood. As soon as he'd heard about the baby, learnt for sure that it was Karev's, he knew he was out. He still thought that Meredith was a very special woman, but she wasn't the woman for him.

He didn't even bother looking at his estranged wife as he left, another woman who just wasn't right for him.

* * *

  
Addison figured that that could have gone worse. Oh, she and Derek still needed to have a blow-out fight, but this wasn't the time or the place.

She went to check on her patient.

Meredith was still unconscious, but that was normal and the fetal monitors were good.

"I don't know how I can ever thank you."

Addison turned to see Richard standing behind her, his eyes glued to his daughter.

"It was nothing." She assured him, then she paused. "Richard, where's Ellis? Doesn't she want to be here?"

Addison had never been the biggest fan of Richard's wife, though she had to admit that the other woman was a brilliant surgeon. But the few times she'd seen Ellis and Meredith together, Addison hadn't been impressed by the older woman's mothering, still... Her daughter had been in a terrible accident, you'd think she'd rush to her side.

Richard took a deep breath. "Ellis... She's got alzhtheimer's, we're trying to keep it quiet, but... Well, it's getting hard."

Addison winced. "Oh, Richard..." She could only imagine how hard it was for him.

"It's okay." He told her, his eyes glued to his daughter. "I have Meredith, and now the baby, to keep me going. That's why I'm so grateful, I'm not sure what I would have done if I'd lost them."

Addison couldn't help but think how lucky Meredith was to have a father who loved her so much, to have so many people who loved her so much.

Addison was particularly curious about Derek's reaction, and the little seen between him and Meredith's husband. Was there something going on between her husband and their mentor's daughter?

* * *


	13. Part Thirteen: Never Tear Us Apart

Dust in the Wind  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Rating in Part One.  
_  
_Author's Notes- This is the last chapter of "Dust in the Wind". This sort of wraps up the Alex/Meredith story, though obviously all the other stories are still hanging in the air. What does that mean? It means, that I'll be writing a sequel of course. And that's where we'll deal with Derek/Addison, the emergence of Burke/Christina, Meredith's pregnancy, Ellis, and the Izzie factor. Okay? I hope you enjoyed Dust in the Wind and thank you for all the wonderful reviews that you've left me, I really appreciated it. I hope you enjoy the conclusion and stay tuned for what happens next!  
_  
Part Thirteen: Never Tear Us Apart

"Hey sleeping beauty." Alex said when he finally got into see Meredith. He'd seen her earlier, but she'd still been groggy after surgery, now a day later she was more alert. "You gave me quite the scare."

That was the understatement of the year. Those hours in the waiting room when he'd been waiting to hear if Meredith would live or die at been the scariest of his life.

"I'm sorry." Meredith told him softly, she made a face. "This wasn't how I planned on telling you about the baby."

"It's okay." Alex told her, giving her a quick kiss on the forehead. "I'm just glad that you and the baby are ok."

Plus, he was still in awe over the news that they were having a baby. They'd created a person.

It terrified him, because God knew that he and Meredith were both pretty fucked up, but... He honestly thought they could do that, that they could be better parents than they'd had themselves. Okay, Meredith's step-dad had done a great job, but her real dad had bailed and her mom was not exactly mother of the year.

"Are you happy about the baby?" Meredith asked softly.

"I'm thrilled." Alex told her sincerely. "Mer, I love you more than anything and this baby, well it's proof of that love."

Meredith smiled and put her hand on her stomach. "So everyone knows we're married?" She asked.

"Yep." Alex told her. "I think it's safe to say Izzie hates us both. O'Malley seemed disappointed, but he took it well and Yang didn't seem at all surprised."

"Christina knew." Meredith told him. "She'd just agreed to keep quiet."

Alex nodded, that's what he'd figured, after all the other woman was fast becoming Meredith's best friend.

"So Izzie hates us?" Meredith asked with a smile.

"Yep." Alex confirmed. "Seems to think we kept our marriage a secret just to piss her off."

Meredith rolled her eyes.

Alex laughed. "Yeah, I know."

"Enough about Izzie Stevens." Meredith told him. "I want to concentrate on us. Do you know when I can get out of here?"

"In about a week." A voice from the doorway said.

Alex and Meredith both turned to see Richard standing there.

"Daddy!" Meredith cried out.

Richard crossed the room to come stand beside Alex. "You gave me the scare of my life." He scolded his daughter.

"Sorry Daddy." She said contritely.

"I already gave her Hell." Alex told her the other man.

Richard just smiled at him. Alex knew that his father-in-law would never forget the pain that he had caused Meredith, but he also knew that Richard knew how much he loved Meredith and because of that they were back on solid ground.

"So I'm here until next week?" Meredith asked with a groan.

"Yes." Richard told her. "And you're off work for two weeks after that and then you're on reduced hours."

Meredith made a face, but she didn't really complain.

"Anyway, I just wanted to see with my own two eyes that you were all right." Richard told her, giving her a quick kiss on the forehead. "Now I'm going to get back to work. I'll be back work."

"Okay Daddy." Meredith said with a smile.

"Oh, and Alex, you're off for the next two weeks as well." Richard told him as he left.

Alex nodded. "See that?" He asked his wife. "Apparently, you get your own doctor to take special care of you."

"For the rest of me life." Meredith agreed with a warm smile. "Alex, I'm sorry for everything."

"So am I." Alex told her sincerely. "But it's behind us now."

They'd went through Hell the last couple months, with the last day being the worst, but they'd survived and Alex thought they'd just be stronger for it.

"I love you, Meredith Webber-Karev." He told her sincerely, squeezing her hand.

"I love you too." Meredith told him.

Alex leaned down and kissed her. When he pulled away, he placed his hand on her stomach.

"And I love you little Webber-Karev."

Alex could see Meredith's smile, she was banged and bruised, but she was okay. They both were.

Oh, Alex knew this wasn't the end of their troubles, after all life was full of twists and turns. But he was confident that whatever life through at them they could handle it. Together.

- The End


End file.
